When somebody is bragging to you about how cute or funny or smart their kid is, it’s never a good idea to say, “Oh, my cat does that too.” You’d think it would be a good way to establish some common ground, but trust me, it’s not.
Me: It’s hard for me to respect people who go running shirtless. Kurt: I don’t… I don’t respect people who run. Me: Yeah, only children and thieves run. Kurt: I guess if you were being chased by a bear it’s ok. And maybe– maybe when you’re playing with your dog.
Some people are afraid of spiders. Some are afraid of heights. Some are afraid of clowns, which seems perfectly reasonable to me, because let’s face it: clowns are scary. I’m scared of balloons. (Via Hautstyle. Some images NSFW.) This situation would give me a panic attack. Not even playing. Whenever I’m around balloons, all I [...]
“You know that saying, ‘Walk softly and carry a big stick’? I live by that. Except I don’t carry a stick.”
Sometimes when I’m driving, I like to sing a capella. Well, I kind of have to, because my car radio is broken. I get really into it, because you can’t half-ass Celine Dion. Unfortunately, doing justice to Celine Dion requires so much effort and concentration that little things like remembering where I’m driving fall to [...]
Whenever I get a latte (soy raspberry– blackberry if I’m feeling dangerous), I always want to say to the barista, “Keep the change, you filthy animal.” I don’t, because they might not catch the film reference and think I was just rude, like when I told the door-to-door salesman, “I’m gonna give you to the [...]
I’ve seriously watched this video like, seventeen times, and have come to several realizations: 1. Newsies was freaking amazing and I need to see it again. 2. Christian Bale is gorgeous. 3. Lady Gaga is awesome, but would be awesomer (not a word) if she did a duet with Christian Bale. 4. Christian Bale should [...]
So my email was hacked on Monday and oh boy, was that a fun mess to try and clean up. (I’m being facetious. There was nothing fun about it.) Anyway, the hacker sent everybody in my contact list an email saying that I’d been mugged in a park in Wales, and that my flight left [...]
My gmail account got hacked and I can’t even figure out how to log on. So that’s awesome… My apologies to anybody who got spammy email from me. Sorry. = (