It occurred to me this morning that it was probably a little hypocritical for me to whine about people over-sharing on Facebook one day and then slam the chauvinistic notion of modesty the next. While I still firmly believe that there is nothing inherently moral or immoral about the human body or the display thereof, [...]
Sometimes when I feel like I could use a little more batshit craziness in my life, I read the letters to the editor in the Daily Universe, the newspaper at Brigham Young University, which I used to attend before I discovered the joys of coffee and HBO. If anything, the letters are usually good for [...]
I feel like Facebook should have a filter in place that makes it impossible to post anything about cervical dilation, because I should never, ever be privy to information about my seventh grade lab partner’s baby box. DISCLAIMER: I don’t think birth is “icky” or anything like that. I’m all about demythologizing birth and owning [...]
Here’s what I wrote in my diary the day I met Donny Osmond: October 10, 2003 GUESS WHO I JUST MET?! I GOT AN AUTOGRAPH! I SHOOK HIS HAND! OHHHHHH MYYYYYY GOSHHHHHHHHH! If you think this diary entry is awkward, you should have seen the actual encounter. I was grinning like an idiot, couldn’t form [...]
I got hit on the other day while I was at the grocery store. It was surprising to me because I get hit on approximately never. I think it has something to do with the fact that I look like a mean Russian lady. It’s ok. It’s just the way my face looks, and I’ve [...]
“What do you call people from Michigan? Michiganites?” “Actually, they’re called Michiganders.” “Do they call the ladies Michigeese?”
Some guy gave me the stink-eye in traffic today. Apparently the fact that he was blaring Dust on the Bottle with the windows down was not an open invitation to sing along. My bad.
Kindergartener: When are you gonna get a baby? Me: Not for a long time. Kindergartener: So… tomorrow? (Y’all better be prepared for lots of funny kindergartener stories. The funniest people in my life right now are 23 kindergarteners, except for Kurt, but most of the funny things he says are wildly inappropriate and therefore not [...]
Kindergartener: Is that how you laugh? Me: Um yeah, that’s how I laugh. Kindergartener: Oh. That’s… different.
I’ve already admitted to owning a leopard print Snuggie (best invention EVER), so I’m admittedly biased, but seriously, this commercial is hilarious. I was laughing so hard I cried and needed my inhaler. Enjoy!