I drive past a church on my way to work every morning. It’s got one of those signs out front, which displays a rotating message that’s usually “punny” or intended to incite repentance.
Today it read, “Having trouble finding the perfect gift? He is here!”
And honest to goodness, my first thought was, “TEDDY RUXPIN?!”
I’ve suffered through many a corporate brainwashing training video, and this one is by far the best. And the most tuneful.
Sometimes when I’m driving, I like to sing a capella. Well, I kind of have to, because my car radio is broken.
I get really into it, because you can’t half-ass Celine Dion. Unfortunately, doing justice to Celine Dion requires so much effort and concentration that little things like remembering where I’m driving fall to the wayside. I’ll be halfway to Canada before I remember that I only meant to make a coffee run.
My excuse today is that I was doing Celine Dion AND Barbra Streisand. My trip to Target was forgotten in favor of putting my heart and soul into this vocal masterwork, my favorite song in sixth grade:
When it gets to the key change, I do this:
It’s a reflex, developed over years of singing into a hairbrush in front of my bedroom mirror.
I should probably stop singing in my car.
I’ve seriously watched this video like, seventeen times, and have come to several realizations:
1. Newsies was freaking amazing and I need to see it again.
2. Christian Bale is gorgeous.
3. Lady Gaga is awesome, but would be awesomer (not a word) if she did a duet with Christian Bale.
4. Christian Bale should be in more musicals. If we could convince him to be in an episode of Glee, I’d honestly pee myself, and then die of a mixture of happiness and embarrassment. I’m mounting a “Get Bale on Glee” Facebook campaign.
5. Christian Bale is gorgeous.
6. Christian Bale is gorgeous.
I found this picture today. The beauty on the left is my great-great-great grandmother Elizabeth Ann. She wears the same charming expression in every picture of her ever taken. Ever.
But more exciting to me than finding a picture of my 3rd great grandmother and her sisters was discovering that my 3rd great aunt was known as Aunt Tranny. I am totally naming my firstborn after her.
I won’t really call it that. That’s just a working title. And that’s what I’ve been doing. Learning how to print. And guess what? It’s really, really hard. So you owe your computer printer a kiss and a hug, because you who have never set type have no idea.
It’s not easy but it’s fun, and I’m having a ball learning how to read backwards and getting all inky. And guess what? Sesame Street can help me show you what I’ve been doing! Except the presses I’m using aren’t as um, technologically advanced. Wouldn’t you like to buy a thank you card printed on a 104-year-old printing press? I THOUGHT SO!