It’s so easy to start comparing myself to others– the former classmates who are off living in glamorous places with glamorous careers and glamorous lives. The friends who haven’t gained a pound since junior high. The super-annoying people with money. Ugh, shut up about your money already! (I really, really should delete my Facebook.)
One thing that I feel insecure about is the fact that I haven’t finished college yet. I started college at Brigham Young University, and even though there were probably 3 or 4 things I didn’t hate about BYU, in 2005 I had to leave, for many reasons, but mostly my sanity. I tried to go back, in 2006, but I only lasted a week before I literally ran away from campus. True story. In heels, no less. Then I ran all the way to Mexico. (Also true, although I did not literally run the whole way.)
One of the 3 or 4 things I didn’t hate about BYU was my major, Latin American Studies. I loved Latin American Studies. I still do. Sadly, University of Alaska, Anchorage does not offer this major, and I was forced into European Studies. Now, I have never been to Europe. I would love to go. I might even like to live there someday. But here’s what I don’t want to do with Europe: study its history. Sorry Europe, but you should have had the presence of mind to make every king have a different name. I am interested in your food, your progressive social policies, even your pop music, but your incredibly annoying King Charles/Louis/William/Henry? Not so much.
Still, I am trying to go to school, but it’s so expensive and annoying and life gets in the way and before you know it you’re on the wrong side of your twenties and your career prospects are Banana Republic and waitressing. And if there’s one thing I hate, it’s interacting with the general public.
So then I get all depressed… I’ll never finish college. It’s so expensive, and I can’t afford it because I haven’t got a good job and I haven’t got a good job because I haven’t finished college. Even if I did finish college what exactly will I do with a liberal arts degree? Probably what I’m doing now… waaaaaah, poor little Anda…
If only I could major in Wallowing In Self-Pity… or Knowing the Plot of Rebelde… or How to Accumulate a Ridiculous Number of Pets…
That being said, I AM registered for classes this fall. No idea how I’ll pay for them. Hope springs eternal.
