La Alaskena

I really, really, really wanted to love this movie. I didn’t.

First, a word about 3D. I’m like a cat: I don’t like loud noises, sudden movements, or baths. Just kidding. I like baths, but I’m serious about the sudden movements part, which is why 3D is sort of an iffy proposition for me. I don’t like it when things come sailing towards my face. I just don’t. Alice’s tumble down the rabbit hole was intense in this respect, and I kept flinching as she kept falling and falling and falling until Kurt leaned over and whispered, “Just shut one eye and then it’s 2D.” Well duh. I knew that. But thanks for reminding me.

This film doesn’t follow the book, which was an interesting take that worked well. We’re all familiar with what happens to Alice in Wonderland the first time around. The second time around, she’s almost 20 years old, and falls down the rabbit hole after she runs away (literally) from a marriage proposal. Wonderland has taken a turn for the worst since her last visit, and it’s up to Alice to slay the Jabberwocky and restore Wonderland to the White Queen’s rule.

Thanks to the impeccable acting, art direction and CGI, I was enjoying the film right up until the Jabberwocky opened its mouth and words came out. Why did they feel the need to anthropomorphize the Jabberwocky? The Jabberwocky is meant to be a symbol, not an entity with thoughts and feelings. I have to admit that it was satisfying to see Alice in a suit of armor, slaying the dragon, but it was weird that the dragon talked. Just sayin’.

Then Alice returns to her world and argh! The last five minutes of the film were trite and horrible and I’m angry, angry I say! It was like they were tired and wanted to go home and that was the best ending they could come up with. It wasn’t so much what happened in the ending but how it happened. I could describe in several paragraphs my many problems with the ending, but I won’t. I don’t want to spoil the movie for you, especially since it spoils itself so very well.