“They don’t watch television.”
I heard a record scratch in my brain. “Ugh. What do they talk about?”
There are two types of people who don’t watch television: uppity religious people who think that watching TV will lead them to wear shorts and vote Democrat, and uppity white people who claim to read books and snow-shoe with all their television-free free time. They’re lying, by the way. You think they’re not watching Mad Men? Really?
Television preferences are a great way to judge a person. For instance, if you don’t have a crush on Tina Fey (sexual or otherwise), we probably can’t be friends. On the other hand, if you cried when Pushing Daisies was cancelled, I’m willing to have your baby.
In Mexico, nobody pretends not to watch la tele. The entire country gets engrossed in telenovelas like Amor Real or La Fea Mas Bella. If, for some reason you happen to be out and about when it airs, no matter– it will be playing at the supermarket, at the restaurant, or in the vet’s waiting room. The whole family watches. It’s really sort of lovely, when you think about it: an entire nation getting caught up in the same story, rooting for the same characters and booing the same villains. When was the last time that happened in America? When we were wondering who shot JR? I wasn’t even alive then.
Even if television doesn’t unite all of us, it at least unites some of us. A person with a similar appreciation for It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is instantly identified as a kindred spirit. NBC’s excellent Thursday night line-up makes for interesting conversation on Friday morning. And discussing Mad Men’s subtle plot twists is infinitely more enjoyable than rehashing one’s own problems.
Perhaps that’s the main thing I don’t understand about people who don’t watch television. They lose the chance to live vicariously, to imagine what it might be like to live in 1960’s New York or be the third wife. They miss out on the enjoyment and heartbreak of following a story week after week. Wednesday is just another day to them. To me, Wednesday means Glee! I don’t know about you, but I need all the glee I can get.
This post is an entry in The Great Experiment over at The Girl Who. All proceeds are being donated to Haitian earthquake relief, and also, I would really like to win. Please head over and vote for me. You may vote ONCE per computer! Just once, ok? And feel free to donate, as well.
I like that show Caliente! but the only show that I absolutely must see is 24. Sometimes I watch American Idol towards the end of the season and I really wish we'd elect Chef Gordon Ramsey to the US Presidency. You know, I see some David Sedaris in your style of writing. Especially in the book insecurity post. Nice work!
This made me laugh! I've long felt this way about people who claim they don't watch television.
Hilarious and so true. One of my closest friends became so after when we bonded over her random utterance of the phrase "This is where the magic happens" from which I immediately pegged her as a fellow Sunny fan. :-)
Great post. Very well written. A Mexican soap star, really? Sounds very dramatic and exotic. Good luck.
Em, I'm your sister and I don't watch T.V. (right now in school). Do you love me?
oh I would die without tv! although it's not my only passtime! you should go to madeira, it's really really beautiful! x
My friend and her family who don't have a tv are definitely the uppity religious types. Instead of watching tv, they learnt several foreign languages, made pastel drawings, papier mached decorative boxes, and learnt how to make stained glass. WOW. WOW. WOW.
GUILTY! I haven't seen most of the shows you mentioned, but I hope that doesn't mean you won't like me anymore! I would like to claim that there is a 3rd category of non-tv-watchers! I always say I don't watch tv, but what I mean is that I don't just watch whatever is on. But I do watch shows! What I like to do is wait until a series is entirely over, and then marathon through the episodes one after another. I find it so much more satisfying than waiting a week or more to find out what happened. For example, when you were sad that Pushing Daisies was canceled, I made a note of that (because I'd heard a lot of good things about it) and soon after viewed the entire show in about a month's time! And there are a few shows that I do follow along with (Lost, Dollhouse, Dexter, Big Love) because my husband makes me! I just realized I only watch these shows because he wants to (though I do enjoy them!). I would just never seek out tv on my own, and consequently do not relate to most humans! ahahha