La Alaskeña

It’s the Fourth of July, and I have a headcold. There will be no picnics and no firecrackers for me. We wanted to go camping this weekend (I like camping, hate hiking– go figure) but Kurt is working feverishly to finish a project, and I would have been no fun anyway. Let’s just say that I have a real history of ruining outdoor family activities if I am even the tiniest bit uncomfortable.

Yesterday as I was driving to work, NPR had its various radio hosts reading the Declaration of Independence, and I have to admit, I got a little choked up. I may be intensely critical of the United States and its many shortcomings and failings, but hey, I’m from here. This is where I grew up. It will always be a part of me. I can love it fiercely and criticize it fiercely, right?

So in honor of Independence Day, I am making a list of a few of the things I love about America.

1. America is a pretty good place to be a woman. Granted, it could be better, but it also could be so much worse. I was watching Mad Men last night, and I pretty much got hives from all the overt sexism. I wanted to take Peggy out for coffee and be like, WHY DO YOU PUT UP WITH IT?!

But we’ve come a long way. I am grateful that nobody has ever questioned the validity of my pursuing an education. I am grateful that being a woman is not a liability when I’m applying for jobs. I am grateful that when I was a little girl, nobody ever burned down my school or cut my nose off for having the audacity to learn how to read. I am grateful that rape is considered a crime and not something that men are entitled to. I am grateful that wife-beating isn’t socially acceptable. I am grateful that I can show my legs in public without fear of being stoned. I am grateful that I can express my ideas and be taken seriously. I am grateful that even though there are still plenty of sexist jerks around, they ultimately can’t stop me from pursuing my dreams. I have rights and privileges that most women in the world can only dream of, and for that, I am truly grateful.

2. A reliable postal service. If you have ever lived someplace without a reliable postal service (I’m talking about you, Mexico), then you know how lovely it is to put something in the mail and know that it will get where it’s going in a timely fashion, and most likely in one piece. Netflix is possible thanks to the USPS, and for that, I am eternally thankful. It is sort of annoying the way that the price of stamps keeps going up, up, up, but I’m not going to complain, because you get what you pay for.

One suggestion:

I think that training chipmunks to be postal carriers would be A: adorable, and B: cost effective, because you could pay them for peanuts, haha. Please take it into consideration, Postmaster General.

3. In America, toilet paper is widely available. Let’s remember that billions, yes, billions of people on this planet have access to neither toilets nor toilet paper. Go ahead and try to wrap your mind around that, you pampered person with a bathroom, you.

I lived in Mexico, and yes, they have toilets, and yes, they have toilet paper, but here’s the deal: you can’t flush it. Most of the plumbing and sewage facilities are just not equipped to deal with toilet paper. You have to put it in a trash can. I’ll be honest, it’s not as gross as it sounds. Seriously. However, I will never lose the sense that flushing toilet paper is somehow luxurious and decadent. You’ve got to find joy wherever you can.

Also, I am grateful that most public restrooms in the US have what I came to call the Holy Trinity: toilet seats, toilet paper, and soap. You could add toilet seat covers, but that’s being a bit greedy. I have to admit, however, that the Holy Trinity is not widely available in rural Alaska. Just be sure to take that into consideration on long road trips.

Ok, I am done talking about toilets.

4. I can say anything. (The picture of Lloyd Dobler from Say Anything is meant to be punny, haha.)

I can (and do) criticize public officials without fear that I’ll be attacked, that I or members of my family might “disappear”, that I’ll be sent to prison for having the chutzpah to speak my mind. I can write a blog, and publish my opinions about anything without worrying that I’ll pay some sort of horrible price. I can read whatever books I please. I can access any website I like. I can go to any church I want, or I can be completely irreverent and irreligious, and all of that is ok.

I can be who I am. I can live an honest life. I am able to become the person I want to be, the person I was meant to be.

America is this crazy collision of hundreds of different cultures, and though there are conflicts, for the most part, we make it work. And we find joy in it.

And so you see, that for all my whining, I really, truly do love my country. God bless America (and everybody else).