I get it, ok? People are stressed out. We work all day and still can’t pay the bills. We don’t get enough sleep or exercise. We don’t eat right. When we’re not at work we’re dealing with work from our Blackberries. The world is an expensive bureaucratic nightmare. It’s not fair and it doesn’t make sense. I get that. But that is not an excuse to leave the house and forget your manners at home.
I don’t understand why people feel the need to take out their frustration on cashiers, waiters, secretaries, etc. And I don’t understand why they feel that their boorish behavior will get them what they want any sooner. Haven’t they heard about how you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar?
I work at a pharmacy, and all day long, if a customer isn’t happy (which is often), they take it out on me. If their prescription won’t go through insurance, for instance, they feel the need to insult my intelligence– even if the problem is that I need their new insurance card, which they forgot at home. I could go on and on and on and on about the appalling way customers have treated me and my co-workers, but I don’t want to dwell on it. It makes me grumpy and sad.
Common courtesy isn’t very common anymore. People don’t say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and ‘excuse me’ anymore. And it’s only getting worse. As the economy worsens, so does the behavior of strangers. People are on the edge, and they’re taking it out on anybody they can.
How does driving aggressively make the world a better place? How does making rude gestures in the parking lot make you feel better? Does it make you feel good to pick on somebody who can’t stand up for his or herself? And no, cashiers and waiters can’t stand up for themselves, sadly. They’ll get fired if they talk to customers the way customers talk to them.
And doesn’t a smile from a stranger make you feel good? When somebody holds open the door for you? Or when you hold the door open and the person thanks you? These little niceties are what makes us civilized, what differentiates us from our caveman forebears. They are little ways of saying, “I’m a human being, you’re a human being, let’s be nice to each other because it’s much more pleasant for the both of us than being nasty and mean.” Because isn’t every human being worthy of dignity and some basic level of respect?
Or am I the only person who thinks that anymore?
Look, I’m not perfect. I can be bitchy. I have my moments, as I’m sure past roommates can attest. But I try very hard not to be. I really do. I try very hard to be nice to people, even to people that may not be nice back. I try hard to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ and ‘have a nice day’. I try hard to be patient and keep my temper. I’m not a toddler anymore, so I don’t throw tantrums when I don’t get my way.
I don’t really know why I’m even posting this. I have a feeling that most of my readers are lovely, genteel people who don’t need a primer on manners, people who are just as shocked as I am at the appalling lack of respect and decorum that is par for the course these days. The people who ought to read this post are probably off watching some horrid reality show in which the contestants treat each other abominably.
I guess what I’m really hoping to get out of this is hope: I want somebody to leave a comment saying, “Oh, come to Pleasantlandia, where we treat everybody with kindness and respect! And we also have universal healthcare!” Otherwise I’ll have to start working on a time machine to take me back to 1946, when people were still nice to each other… minus all the racism, sexism, and classism, of course. Although at this point, even 2006 looks better than where we are now.
