La Alaskeña

Hmmm, you look like a tasty morsel...

I work in a pharmacy, and people come in all the time with antibiotic prescriptions for infected cat bites. I would think to myself, “What are you doing to your cat that it feels the need to bite you?!”

Apparently all it takes is delicious body butter. I usually put it on my hands and elbows before bed, and Wiscious loves it. She’ll suddenly be all affectionate and cuddly, occasionally licking my hands. But last night she  just started gnawing on me, not once but three times. She didn’t break the skin or anything, but she did leave a very faint mark. Rude.

I woke up this morning, and something fat and heavy was on my chest. Wiscious. I opened my eyes, and she was staring at me intently like Hannibal Lector contemplating his next meal. “Where shall I begin?” she seemed to be thinking. “Breast or thigh?”

UPDATE! As an admitted word nerd, I was driven to name Wiscious’ disorder. I finally arrived upon anthropophagia, the eating of humans, although I think Wiscious would eat pretty much anything. She’s a hungry girl.