Archive for January, 2009

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Jan
31
2009

Fall-out Fashion

by Andrea

Volcanic anihilation is imminent. Or maybe I just enjoy being melodramatic. One thing is for sure: I am LOVING this whole volcano thing! My inner volcanologist is all kinds of excited, checking the Alaska Volcano Observatory website every 15 minutes, geeking out over seismic activity and steaming vents. Here is what I have rediscovered: volcanos are TOTALLY AWESOME. I will persist in this belief until about 2 minutes after the ash starts falling, at which point I will think that volcanos TOTALLY SUCK.

In the event of a deadly ashfall, I am prepared with this season’s hottest accessory:

Not a good look. Also, not comfortable.

Not cute. Also not comfortable.

And for more formal occasions:

too sexy, too sexy

too sexy, too sexy

 It’s just… well, I’m a little upset that the canisters don’t match the straps.

Posted in Self-Involvement, Thoughtsicles | 6 Comments »

Jan
31
2009

Volcano!

by Andrea

redoubtUm, so first they went and cancelled Domino, and now apparently Mt. Redoubt is going to erupt and anihilate Alaska. Or maybe just bury us with ash. Either way, it’s going to be unpleasant.

In fifth grade, I was at a sleepover at my third best friend’s house. (Remember keeping track of that hierarchy? Now instead of second and third and fourth best friends I just have people whose calls I don’t return. But I digress…) At the sleepover, we watched the utterly horrid film Volcano, and I found my calling in life. I realized that I was meant to be a volcanologist. How exciting, right? Flirting with death 9 to 5– yeehaw! I went to the library and checked out all kinds of books on volcanos and started reading up. I was gonna be way ahead of the game when I hit grad school. Right next to my practice signatures of  ”Mrs. Taylor Hanson“, I drew diagrams of isotopes. Keep in mind that I was eleven at the time. Tragic.

My dream of becoming a volcanologist died when I realized that isotopes were kinda boring. Also you can’t wear heels in a workplace like this:

cantwearheels 

Posted in Uncategorized | 4 Comments »

Jan
29
2009

Say it ain’t so, Domino!

by Andrea

dominoI am distraught, InterWeb. I am disappointed, upset, inconsolable. Domino magazine is going under. First there was Blueprint, which was THE BEST MAGAZINE EVER, and then they took it away from me and left this blog, and then they took that as well. And now, a week after solidifying my loyal readership for life with their Zooey Deschanel cover, they’re taking it away from me. Rude.

Now where am I going to get my information on gracious yet hip living? How to decorate with florals without getting all early 90′s? How to make baking cupcakes an ironic, post-modern feminist activity? From Martha? Don’t get me wrong, ya’ll know I love me some Martha, but I need to balance out all that matronliness with… well, with Domino, and now I can’t.

If you’ll excuse me, I need some time alone with my grief.

Posted in Magazines | 2 Comments »

Jan
28
2009

Teen Witch

by Andrea

teenwitchI had a minor medical procedure this morning and spent most of the day sleeping off the Tylenol #3. When I woke up, what was I supposed to do with the rest of the day? Clean the house? Surely not. Study? Not in my condition! Clearly, the only viable option was watching Teen Witch in my pajamas.

The 80′s were, of course, the golden age of teen movies, and this one is oh-so-80′s and oh-so-golden. It seems like Teen Witch was the Saturday matinee movie every single weekend when I was a kid. In my young mind, this movie encapsulated the high school experience. This was what I expected when I first walked through the doors of A.J. Dimond High School in 1999, but you know what? Dimond was nothing like Teen Witch, and I will never stop being disappointed about that.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’ll never be a happy, well-adjusted adult because I never got to wear a tutu to the prom. I wore a turtleneck, but that’s a story for a different day.

And now, because I love ya’ll, I present the rap battle from Teen Witch. Enjoy.

Posted in Film and Television, Old School | 2 Comments »

Jan
27
2009

Gossip Girl v. Rebelde

by Andrea

The blogosphere is burning up with posts about Gossip Girl and how cute the uniforms are. It reminds me of one of my favorite shows of all time, Rebelde. It’s about a group of spoiled teenagers at a private boarding school in Mexico City who form a band despite the fact that they all hate each other. In the first episode, Miguel almost throws Mia over a cliff, and she later pulls a knife on him. Diego’s dad hires him a hooker because he thinks it will nip Diego’s homosexuality in the bud. It makes Gossip Girl look like Happy Days. And of course, they have some rocking uniforms.

rbduniforme

Ok fine, so they’re not as classy as Gossip Girl. Whatevs.

gossipgirlcastphoto

Maybe Gossip Girl wins for fashion. But Rebelde has something that Gossip Girl doesn’t: MUSICAL NUMBERS. Lots of musical numbers. Which, of course, is exactly what every American soap opera is lacking.

Posted in Fashion, Music | 8 Comments »

Jan
26
2009

Wiscious is hungry…

by Andrea
Hmmm, you look like a tasty morsel...

Hmmm, you look like a tasty morsel...

I work in a pharmacy, and people come in all the time with antibiotic prescriptions for infected cat bites. I would think to myself, “What are you doing to your cat that it feels the need to bite you?!”

Apparently all it takes is delicious body butter. I usually put it on my hands and elbows before bed, and Wiscious loves it. She’ll suddenly be all affectionate and cuddly, occasionally licking my hands. But last night she  just started gnawing on me, not once but three times. She didn’t break the skin or anything, but she did leave a very faint mark. Rude.

I woke up this morning, and something fat and heavy was on my chest. Wiscious. I opened my eyes, and she was staring at me intently like Hannibal Lector contemplating his next meal. “Where shall I begin?” she seemed to be thinking. “Breast or thigh?”

UPDATE! As an admitted word nerd, I was driven to name Wiscious’ disorder. I finally arrived upon anthropophagia, the eating of humans, although I think Wiscious would eat pretty much anything. She’s a hungry girl.

Posted in Animalitos | 3 Comments »

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