La Alaskeña

Elizabeth Gilbert convinced me that I could get married without losing myself or my feminist credibility, and all of a sudden I found myself in a white dress and veil, getting married.

No seriously. That’s how it happened. And it only required 1.5 tablets of Valium!

It was a small, low-key, backyard affair, and it was absolutely perfect.

As far as I can tell, I have not lost myself or my feminist credibility. It would seem that my deep-seated fear of marriage was unfounded, although I think it helps that I married the coolest guy around.

If you feel the burning desire to give me something to commemorate the occasion, this would be the place to do so.

This weekend I looked in the mirror at my cadaverously white self and decided it was time to get a spray tan. Just because I’ve spent the last three years in Alaska doesn’t mean I have to look like I’ve spent the last three years in Alaska.

This morning when I walked into my classroom, Kindergartener A said, “Miss Staats! What happened to your face?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“It’s brown!” she exclaimed.

Kindergartener B looked at me and nodded approvingly. “It looks better,” she said.

And you know what? She’s right.